It’s always a bit of a slap in the face when the friends you thought were true actually stab you in the back or decide they don’t want you in their lives anymore. Today, I officially lost a friend of more than 10 years and while I knew the friendship had outgrown itself, the final unfriending on Facebook was like a bee sting. It hurts, it's bumpy and sore, but in a few days the sting will go away and it get better.
I've seen other people in my life recently go through the same loss...losing people who once had your back, never would have thought twice about sharing secrets, sharing tears, dropping everything on a dime to have their back...suddenly they dessert you and you feel like WTF just happened here?
It all comes back to the famous quote: People come into your life...for a reason, a season or a lifetime. We all know that. Sometimes you meet complete strangers and instantly you know they are the people you could see yourself friends with forever. They could be a lover, a stranger from a far off land or even a neighbour. The bottom line is when we meet these people, they become a part of us and make us better.
The hardest part is when you have someone in your life and it feels like it should be for a lifetime, but it ends up being a season. That is the Debbie Downer thought for today. At the end of the it all, the unfriending doesn’t change the huge role they played in your life, you will always have amazing memories and can hold on to those forever. If someone isn't being a productive part of your life anymore, its time to let them go and move on. In my heart, I know I will always care about the friends I have lost, and maybe one day they will find her way back to me. I don't hate them for the things they have done, I don't think hate is a healthy emotion for anyone. I'm angry now knowing some of the things that have happened...but I understand (stepping back) that sometimes things seem bigger than they are in the heat of the moment and we just have to appreciate that not everyone sees the world through your own eyes.
The best thing I can do now, is move forward knowing that the people who are in my life now (again for a season, reason or lifetime it still yet unknown) are here and I love each and every one of them. Some have played bigger roles in the past, some will play bigger roles in the future, but I am very thankful for everyone who has been a part of my life thus far. Lessons learned from each and every one.
I found a brief description of each type of friend...thought it would be good to share:
A Reason: This is someone who usually meets a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work here is done. It's just time to move on.
A Season: When people come to you for a season, it is because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But only for a season.
A Lifetime: Relationships bound for a lifetime teach lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationship and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind, but friendship is clairvoyant.
So maybe it's time to take a look at all of your relationships. It may not be clear today, which people are with you for a reason, season or lifetime, but enjoy each one. Don't look back and think "I gave them so much and they walked away"...instead...thank each person who has touched your life...as they have helped mold you into the person you are right now!
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